Atomic Awakening
The album
When I first decided to record some music I had no idea of the odyssey it would take me on. It all started with fragments of music bouncing around in my brain, snippets of tunes I was humming around the house. Curiosity led me to record one of these songs, even though it was only a loose idea with a clear vision for the beginning. Surprisingly, the music took an unexpected turn, and I found myself recording an entirely different song than I was intending to. One song led to two, then three, and gradually an album took shape, evolving on its own, piece by piece, like a puzzle. It’s fair to say that the album essentially built itself as I allowed the process to guide me, embracing the direction it wanted to go. As the music materialized through my involvement, the process also revealed a part of myself to me that had been previously unknown. I began to feel a sort of other version of myself emerge from the depths of the creative process, an identity of sorts, a sense of growing into myself as an artist and as a human. It was then that I realized that I wasn’t just building an album; the album was awakening something in me. Once I had a strong sense of what the album was really about I decided to call the album Atomic Awakening.
The result is something I can honestly say I’m very proud of and represents what I consider to be my biggest accomplishment as an artist thus far. I feel that I have succeeded in my goal of creating music that is immersive, healing, relaxing yet energizing, nostalgic and yet forward thinking. The album goes beyond the individual songs and is really meant to be experienced as one continuous album. In a sense I’m sharing my inner world with everyone and my hope is that each person who hears it will be able to connect with it in their own way, something that feels personal to them.
Musically speaking, much of my inspiration is drawn from some of the vintage psychedelic album rock of the 1970s, infused with an eclectic assortment of elements from other genres including 1950s exotica, 1930s popular music, classic rock’n’roll, blues, funk, folk, and electronica. The music explores themes of healing, childhood, liberation, and the search for truth and meaning against a backdrop of conflict and political divide. No two songs are the same and each song has its own unique feel and meaning, yet it all flows together as an album. I’m very happy with the response I’ve gotten from listeners so far and I hope that you enjoy listening to it as much as I’ve enjoyed making it. Ultimately this music was made for you.
The Lyrics
Embraced
Show me the light that shines deep down inside
Show me the world that lives inside your mind
Show me the pain that you've been trying to hide
Something is waiting on the other side
All alone you stand out in the rain
And sing your sad refrain
Lamenting long ago
The world is so much bigger than you know
It's all within
It's time to let it show
Everywhere you look you'll find the truth
A message calls to you
A voice from long ago
The world will tell you what you need to know
Don't be afraid
It's time to start the show
The Great Divide
So you look to your left and your right
See who joins you in this fight
They fooled you
Did your backbone finally give out
Got some things to figure out
I thought I knew you
You're playing right into their hands
I can't believe it's true
That it happened to you
Look at all the people in the street
The emperor's got a new suit
Come and see
And the world breaks down
Nowhere left to hide
Don't you try to tell me that we haven't tried
Falling through the great divide
And the world breaks down
Nowhere left to hide
Don't you try to tell me that we haven't tried
Falling through the great divide
Momma's Boy
Well you thought you'd be a hero
As you walked out in the crowd
Got your picture in the paper
Well you're never gonna live it down
Well you better start learnin'
'Cause the fires are burnin'
And there's no one having fun
You'll never stop runnin'
'Cause the judgment day's comin'
And your trouble's just begun
Do you realize what you've done
Little boy blue make your momma real proud
Pissin' your pants as you shoot 'em all down
What's that fool and his momma got planned
Boy, what'cha gonna' do with that gun in your hand
After it was over well I bet you cried and cried
Look over your shoulder baby every time you go outside
Well troubles are brewing
'Cause you don't know what you're doing/knew what you were doing
And it's such a cryin' shame
Just a brainwashed kid now look at what you did
Now everybody knows your name
This ain't a fucking game
Little boy blue make your momma real proud
Pissin' your pants as you shoot 'em all down
What's that fool and his momma got planned
Boy, what'cha gonna' do with that gun in your hand
Little boy blue make your momma real proud
Pissin' your pants as you shoot 'em all down
What's that fool and his momma got planned
Boy, what'cha gonna' do with that gun in your hand
Jesus Pill
Got to take my Jesus pill today
Got to save my soul along the way
Got to keep my sinful thoughts away
Got to get down on my knees and pray
It's gonna happen any day now
Things are gonna change
I keep waiting for someone to hear my call
Please somebody save me from the fall
Go to church on Sunday
Gonna stand in line
Take my Jesus pill
And I'm doing just fine
This is my body
Broken for you
But if you want to get to heaven you gotta give the devil his due
Put the money in the basket
Keep it going strong
Let the good book tell you
Tell you right from wrong
Got to keep running
Keep moving on
But if you want to get to heaven you gotta turn the devil on
I Was A
Teenage Frank-N-Furter!
Let me tell you all about what happened many years ago
When I was seventeen I heard about a groovy little midnight show
So one night on the weekend all my friends and I decided to go
Inside the place the audience was filled with freaky people everywhere
And when the local cast came out I felt the pure antici-pation in the air
And then a guy came out and sang a song in nothing but some ladie's underwear
And from that moment on I knew that that was what I wanted to do
And so I went out on the town and bought some fishnets and some high-heeled shoes
I went and joined the local cast and then one night I had my big debut
So they put me in the show
The lights turned way down low
It was time for me to strut my stuff
And so I walked out on that stage
The crowd was in a rage
I just couldn't get enough
Well I jumped into the movie
That was me up on the screen
They said I was the best transvestite they had ever seen
Every Saturday night at the stroke of midnight
I turned into a teenage queen
If you know what I mean
So if you're feeling down and out and think this world is leaving you behind
Well come on down and see the show, I know you'll have a really rockin' time
Maybe it'll change your life the way I know that it changed mine
'Cause when I think back to those days
Of being on that stage
I feel a smile light up my face
People at the show
Yelling things out loud and throwing toilet paper all over the place
Well the spirit came upon me
I've never felt so free
And being it (not dreaming it) became a part of me
Every Saturday night we were feeling alright
At my favorite little midnight movie
Innocents
See the children frolic in the sun
Won't you take me back
Running, laughing, playing, having fun
Won't you take me back
Would you like to go back
Grown-up voices talking through the wall
Won't you take me back
Someone's coming in from down the hall
Won't you take me back
Would you like to go back
With me
Where monsters were real and out to get you
Take me by the hand and I'll protect you
Searchin'
I’m searchin' for a homeland
I can call my own
Searchin' for a lady
I can call my own
Searchin' for a shoreline
Where I can sail away
Searchin' for some paradise
Within your eyes today
You children of the garden
Please hold onto your dreams
Listen now my children
All is not what it seems
Children of the garden
Oh please hold on today
You children of the garden
Will all be home someday
There's a silver stardust in my eyes
Royal tapestries and magic tones
Reflections of the pathways I have journeyed
Still it seems I never found my home
So I'm searchin' for an island
With love everywhere
Searchin' for a maiden
With flowers in her hair
Searchin' for some harmony
Soon I will be there
I'm flying along in ecstasy
Above the clouds in the air
There's a silver stardust in my eyes
Empty roads I've had to walk alone
Fragments of some fading, fleeting memories
Still it seems
I never found my home
Attack of the
Stupid-Headed Mutants
We can't play the new tape until you stop playing the old tape
We can't play the new tape until you stop playing the old tape
(Here we go)
We can't play the new tape until you stop playing the old tape
We can't play the new tape until you stop playing the old tape
Danger danger, look around
Something's happening to our town
Please be careful, please beware
Now those things are everywhere
Well stupid-headed mutants
Are starting to attack
You cut off their head
But another one grows back
And it's pissing me off
It's getting worse here every day
We can't make them go away
They're taking over nationwide
Nothing to do but go inside
Life upon this planet
Will never be the same
And I'm telling you that whatever you do
Don't let them steal your brain
Don't try to convince them
Don't try to be their friends
They'll just try to eat you with their big fat stupid heads
Little Secret
Early one morning before it was light
Mother had waiting up most of the night
Her daughter crept in thinking she'd be asleep
And mother said why don't I make us a nice cup of tea
She said this is something that just isn't right
I think I know where you've been going at night
You've been so elusive that it would appear
You've been meeting the Wolf again
Haven't you dear
Mom, there are some things that you just don't see
You don't understand what the Wolf means to me
I'm sorry you worry but please leave it be
So they sat there in silence and finished their tea
And sometimes when the wind is whispering lo'
When it's foggy and quiet and the full moon's aglow
At the thick of the woods past the edge of the town
She meets with the Wolf when there's no one around
A Time To Try
Once I had the saddest dream
On a never-ending road looking for you
That's the way it seems to be
And I wonder if you're searchin' for me too
Within my heart
There's a hole
That opened up and swallowed up my soul
But now it's time to try
I don't want to have to say goodbye
There's so much I want to say
You should know that I have so much love for you inside
I've made mistakes along the way
I hope you understand that I was always on your side
I can't believe that it would end
I sold my sanity to get you back again
But now it's up to you
I wish I knew what else to do
I can't imagine a world without getting to see you again
All I ever wanted was to be your friend
I think about you every day
Deep down in my heart I hope that we can start anew
I'm just a phone call away
No matter what I'm doing I'll be on my way to you
I hope that we can find a way
Are second chances possible today
And now it's time to try
Or will we let the time just pass us by
The Doctor
Says You'll DIe
Well hear my words if you're so inclined
And get right off that production line
And the doctor says you'll die
And the doctor says you'll die
All of your fears and worries and woes
They're stealing your life right under your nose
And the doctor says you'll die
And the doctor says you'll die
Mind control been spinning my brain
Round and round and round and round
Making me feel like I'm going insane
Down and down and down and down
You got a bullet in your head get back into bed
You got a bullet in your head get back into bed
You got a bullet in your head get back into bed
You got a bullet in your head get back into bed
Behind the scenes of the hologram
A glimpse inside of the master plan
And the doctor says you'll die
And the doctor says you'll die
Molecules, polycules, waves of light
Whizzing and whirling with delight
And the doctor says you'll die
And the doctor says you'll die
Uncharted
I see the world unfolding by design
All the synchronicities begin to intertwine
The stars beginning to align
Something powerful to shift the tides of time
Can you hear the voices calling from the other side
Have you learned how to pay attention to the signs
This is where we leave the past behind
And now it's time to reach for the divine
And now I'm standing at the gate
And there's no time to hesitate
It's been so long
And now the precipice awaits
And now it's time to seal my fate
And now I'm gone
It's been a long time coming
Break the chain
Something's going down
It's been a long time coming
Stake the claim
And I ain't messing around
I got a whole lot of nothing out of playing the game
But I'm not going to play their game today
Awaken from your slumber state
You're up, you're out, you're on the road
You're going places far away
Earth does as she pleases as the early morning breezes
Fill your senses as you start the day
And the cool, sweet scent of happiness fills your future
You're on your way
You're on your way
And the rain cannot touch you
And the skies are blue above you
And you know who you are deep down inside you
You're on your way
You're on your way
Dew begins to melt and flowers open up to say hello
And everything is a-okay
Sunshine all around you as the road ahead surrounds you
In a welcoming and friendly way
And the people that you meet will all be smiling
You're on your way
You're on your way
And the moon don't seem so very far
And you're close enough that you can stir the stars
And everyone you hold within your heart
Is here to stay
Every day
The Songs
Embraced
To begin the album I wanted a song that would draw people into the music. To me this is one of the most meaningful songs on the album; it establishes a connection between myself and the listener, a way of making contact. People will often go through their whole lives without ever sharing who they really are with anyone or sometimes even themselves. This song is to impress upon the listener the idea that they are not alone, that they are preciously valuable, and that anything is possible.
The Great Divide
The Great Divide
The Great Divide
I was speaking with an old friend; it had been a couple years since we had gotten to really catch up. We had both been though some major changes, both in our personal lives and in a broader sense with what was happening in our country and in our world. In the course of talking to him I realized that he had bought into some very upsetting ideas that were heavily influenced by propaganda and it was hard to believe I was hearing such things from my old friend, someone I had always regarded as an intelligent, rational person. I wrote this song not just to him but to the countless others who have been swayed into allowing propaganda to influence their thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. As the world wakes up and grows in empathy and understanding, some of these people have openly embraced bigotry and fascist ideology. My heart breaks for them and for the millions of people whose lives and rights are being affected by their words and actions. There's a better way to be in this world and hopefully one day more people will understand and put their efforts into creating a better world with us instead of continuing to hold us back.
Momma's boy
This song flows musically right from the song before and both songs are featured continuously on one track to avoid any interruptions in the music. This song was loosely inspired by the actions of Kyle Rittenhouse, the teenage boy who decided to bring an AR-15 to a Black Lives Matter protest and ended up shooting three people, killing two of them.
Jesus Pill
Jesus Pill is a song about going to church, grappling with a religious mindset, and ultimately realizing the limitations of this path when it comes to spiritual growth and fulfillment. Some of the lyrics are not meant to be taken literally but rather to illustrate that in order to achieve true freedom one must seek a broader perspective and look outside of the confines of the familiar religious constructs that so often hinder our spiritual growth.
I was A
Teenage Frank-N-Furter!
Time to mix things up a bit as I present my affectionate tribute to the beloved classic, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The song tells the true story of my experience as a young member of the cast, immersing myself in the vibrant world of the show's screenings at our neighborhood cinema. That was a truly unforgettable time in my life that will always hold a special place in my heart.
Innocents
I wanted to create a song that was both comforting and unsettling at the same time. Above all, I aimed to evoke the essence of childhood, a profoundly personal experience that carries diverse interpretations for each listener. It's also my way of wanting to take away the pain that some people have experienced due to their childhood traumas. The child's voice that can be heard on the song is my own voice from when I was four years old.
Searchin'
This is a song my late father wrote. He recorded it into a small portable tape recorder back in the 1980s before he died. I re-recorded the song in the style I wanted for the album, adding harmonies, my own guitar solo, and my own original verse at the end. During the bridge of the song my voice has an echo; that's my dad's voice from the original recording. This was a labor of love, a sort of bittersweet collaboration between my father and me, and I am immensely grateful that my father and I get to sing together on my version of his song.
Attack Of The
Stupid-Headed Mutants
An unsettling situation is unfolding as a relentless wave of stupid-headed mutants has descended upon our town and it's getting out of hand! No matter what we do there seems to be no stopping them; they are ruining the whole town for everyone. All they do is make a nuisance of themselves and they are very difficult to get rid of. Beware!
Little Secret
Allow me to share a story of an uncomfortable yet necessary conversation between a young lady and her mother. Her mother suspects she knows what's going on with her daughter and has decided to confront her about it. Sometimes parents just don't understand... or do they?
A Time To Try
Among all the songs on this album, this one holds a deeply personal significance for me. Its meaning, however, is not confined to my own experience alone. Almost all of us have someone in our life whom we've lost or with whom the relationship is strained. I wrote this song in hopes that it may help bring about a new beginning for me and my children whom I love dearly.
The Doctor
Says You'll Die
Years ago my mother shared a room on a cruise ship with my great grandmother who was talking in her sleep all night long. Over and over she kept saying, "...and the doctor says you'll die, and the doctor says you'll die..." My mother was too polite to wake her up so she just sat up all night creeped out. One day I got it in my head and thought it would be fun to make a song out of it. This song is probably my most original and I'm very proud of it.
Uncharted
There are moments in our lives when we are summoned to embark on a journey into uncharted territories. It is during these times that we must release the grip on the door behind us and allow it to close, in order to reach the door that lies ahead. This leap into the unknown requires an unwavering belief, a leap of faith. This song encapsulates the essence of that transitional space between the comfort of the past and the promises held by the future. For some of us, remaining stagnant is simply not an option; we must forge ahead if we are to fulfill our destinies and truly actualize our lives. As the album draws to a close, my aspiration is that the listener will reenter their daily existence with a rejuvenated sense of hope for humanity, an enhanced understanding of their own identity and purpose, and a rekindled optimism for what lies ahead.